Phil Penne Creations

#10 - The Grocery Store

 

 

        Yeah, without a doubt, your favorite way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

        At the grocery store.

        Some people don’t seem to mind. They talk about how it’s nice and quiet, and air-conditioned, and how there’s music playing, and aisle after aisle of colorful things to buy, and how they love to browse through the magazine rack.

        You see the flip side of the coin. The grocery store you’re in has kids throwing a screaming fit because their mother didn’t buy them the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Whoopees they wanted. You see the woman yelling at the manager because she can’t buy postage stamps at the checkout. There’s overpriced meat, satanic shopping carts, unruly teens toppling towers of spaghetti sauce jars while joyriding on the handicapped scooter and, oh, dear God, the old woman at the front of the line rummaging through 50,000 coupons to save a nickel on dish soap.

        Why can’t I use this one? It wasn’t expired six months ago. Do I have to buy two, or can I just buy one and use two coupons? Why don’t they have coupons for lottery tickets? My son-in-law works for a place that makes the paper they print coupons on. Do I need a coupon for the cat food? I have a picture of her – she’s a three-year-old calico. My daughter just got a tattoo. Is that your real hair?

        Worst of all, it’s boring. One, two, three, four, five… five more people in front of you. You close your eyes and sigh. You could be home right now, getting some work done, or paying bills, or - if no one else is home to bother you – kicking back with a glass of ice tea and watching some B-movie sci-fi flick on TV. Oh, well. On the brighter side, you can at least have fun watching all the goofy looking people in line...

 

 

You should really give the grocery store just one more chance. Sure you hate shopping - but today something just might happen that changes your mind...