Phil Penne Creations

Stumpknocker, Florida

 

There's a laid-back little town buried somewhere in the quiet parts of south-central

Florida.  Folks there are friendly to one another and will help you fix your fence or dig a well without even being asked.  The beverage of choice there is sweet tea with a sprig of mint, and meals Saturday night are generally mullet hot from the smoker.

So when life gets to be too much that's the time I jump in the car and head down to Stumpknocker, a place where you can still see the stars at night.  I tell stories about daily life in Stumpknocker and the people who live it, folks like Hazel Bidwell, the pastor's wife and chairlady of the Almighty Shoulders Coffee Klatch and Sewing Circle, and Eugene Middlemier, the only law and order in town (he's the barber), and Gatortail - that's actually two people, Gayle and Taylor, the twins who are the main source of mischief in town.  So pull up a rockin' chair and sit a spell.  We'll save a mason jar of sweet tea for you.

Here are some of the stories I tell about the town of Stumpknocker, Florida:

 

Stumpknocker - This here's the "get acquainted" story, lettin' ya' know a little about my favorite place in the whole wide world, Stumpknocker, Florida, a place where you can still see the stars at night.

 

The Town Crazies - Mildred and Patty, the spinster sisters who run the Magnolia Cafe, tell me all about Maudette Perkins, the crazy cat lady, and  Gilford Anderson, the weird old veteran.

 

The Hullabaloo of Aught Two - It started with John F. Kennedy pouncing on Teddy Roosevelt and ended with the barn burning down.  Go ahead.  Figure that one out.

 

Jimmy Boone and the Calf - Ezra Boone's boy Jimmy was mucking out the new calf's stall and... well.. you wouldn't believe what happens next.

 

Gatortail - Gayle and Taylor Crickley, the Gatortail twins, decide to do some Halloween mischief and run up against Mama Root, the old woman who came up to visit from Loop Road.  Talk about a surprise...

 

The Fishing Contest - Gatortail gets bored and decides the two of them are gonna' have a fishing contest.  It's not so much who wins, but how that's the fun part.

 

Gumball the Wonder Dog - Gumball, the Crickley's little mutt dog, is sweet-tempered, and real nice to kids.  He's also dumb as a sack of hammers.  If you ever catch one of my storytelling gigs, you can find out more about him.

 

Syrup the Hard Way - What the heck, when I heard Granny Tucker needed a hand cutting sugar cane, I said I'd lend a hand.  I should have learned more about cane cutting before I volunteered...